Wedding Dress.

Today seems to have been full of troubles and hardships. Full of lectures and nausea and tears. But ultimately, we were able to get through all of it and still stay as close as we were in the beginning. I was fast asleep on Kevin's bed and apparently, his aunt came home while he was changing. We weren't supposed to be there at the moment because his aunt wasn't home. We got lectured at and everything. Like many people know, I get really sensitive when someone yells/lectures/screams/shows hostility towards me verbally. Every time something like this happens, there's only 1 out of 100 times that I wouldn't cry. So of course, this time, I cried. I cried my eyes out and nearly passed out from crying. Everything around me was spinning and I was dizzy and I couldn't focus. There were only three other times that happened and when I got that dizzy, I went and hid in my closet or under my bed so that I wouldn't pass out. The darkness normally helped me. Whenever I cried, I would hide in a dark place and try to calm myself down. I never got why since I'm so very afraid of the dark, but the dark also calms me down. But this time, I couldn't hide or anything so I just tucked my legs to my chest and buried my face between my knees. I cried so hard that I started shaking and it got hard to breathe but I calmed down soon after it was all over. Kevin asked me if I was mad at him. Of course I wasn't. He asked me if I wanted to break up with him and that he would understand. I started crying that instant and held him close to me. I didn't want to let go of him and he asked me the stupidest question on Earth. Even now, when I think of him asking me something like that, it brings tears to my eyes and I start sniffling. I'm trying to blink the tears away because my parents are sitting right here. I just never want him to ask me something like that again. It pains me that he would be willing to let me go if I said one stupid word. There is no way in hell or heaven that I would want to let him go. I expect something like this to come up again considering the fact that his aunt is going to try to get his mother and father to speak with the both of us. But even though something like this is probably going to happen again, I don't mind. I know that afterwards, Kevin and I would be able to make each other happy and we would cheer each other up quickly. Just like today. We would be able to get past all the hard and depressing battles that lie ahead of us. He asked me earlier if I loved him less after the lecture and i nodded. He jumped and his eyes widened and asked again. I smiled and shook my head. Since I suck at cheering people up, that was the only way. He told me that I scared him when I said yes but he was happy that I was joking around with him about that. Of course I wouldn't say yes to that. I love him too much for me to want to love him any less. He's too precious and I don't want to lose him. Not to anyone or anything. I want him here. By my side. I want him to be the one I walk towards on the day I walk down an isle wearing a white wedding dress. I want him to be the one to mess and play with my kids. I want him to be the one to watch them grow up. Most of all, I want to be the one to grow old with him. I love him so damned much. Nobody can take him away from me even if they take him away physically.
But I have to get him to earn his trust back from his parents and his aunt. I don't need another me floating around.
After the lecture, I helped Kevin clean his room since his room was one reason his family was upset. I was able to fix up his room and make it look slightly decent. I made him promise that he would keep it like that. I also made him promise that he would dump his trash and make sure that after he was done eating, he would make sure everything ended back in the kitchen. After all that is done, hopefully there would be a slight improvement in his relationship with his parents and his aunt. I really do hope so.
That's about it for this post.