...

I swear I haven't cried this much since my Grandmother died 3 years ago. Yeah, I'm fucking crying, think I'm a bitch? Well if you do you're a fucktard and if you don't like it, deal with it or say something to me and I'll gladly fuck you up for talking shit.
Sharon told me that I haven't been emotional and that if I don't show how I feel, that she'll stop caring, and it's something she didn't want. (It's definitely the last thing I'd ever want...)Just the thought of her stopping caring made me want to cry my eyes out. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic, so what?
She then went on to say how she's already been caring less, how she hasn't been staring at me as much and how she has an urge to stop smiling at times, but doesn't. Once I heard this, I pretty much died inside. After she said that... I began to notice that she really hasn't been staring as much, or being as emotional, and it really hurt because for once, I got the feeling that maybe I could lose her, the love my life, girl of my dreams...
Though she said all I have to do is open up more and say what's on my mind... I couldn't shake the fact that I pushed her away. She said we're never going to split, no matter what, but still... if I'm not making her happy, I don't want to force her to be with me. I love her to death and I'd rather her be with someone else if I can't make her as happy as she deserves to be.
She also told me how she knows I'm going to get her to be more emotional again, that she know's I'll get her to stare and smile like before... but I don't know. I still feel like a sack of shit for even making her feel this way in the first place. I can't even really write... she says she knows everything is gonna be alright, but I'm still too upset to think about anything other than how I've failed her. I want to be her best boyfriend she's ever had, to be she loved the most, to make her the happiest, and I feel like I'm doing a shitty job...
I love you Sharon, I'm sorry...