I'll always be here for you.

Going back to the corner, where I first saw you.
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move.
Got some words on cardboard,
Got your picture in my hand.
Saying "if you see this girl, can you tell her where I am."
Some try to hand me money.
They don't understand.
I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man.
I know it makes no sense,
What else can I do?
How can I move on,
When I'm still in love with you.

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe that you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
Then you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving.

Policeman says, "son you can't stay here."
I say there's some that I'm waiting for,
If it's a day, a month, a year.
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
This is the first place she will go.

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe that you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
Then you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy,
That's waiting in on a girl.
There are no holes in hiss shoes,
But a big hole in his world.
Maybe I'll get famous for the man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but,
You'll see me on the news,
And you'd come running to the corner,
Cause you'll know it's just for you.
I'm the man who can't be moved.
I'm the man who can't be moved.

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe that you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
Then you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move.
--The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Sweetheart.

I can't take it. I'm so worried about him right now. I'm so worried, I want to cry. I'm so worried, I feel like going over there and busting down the door to find out how he's doing. I'm so worried. I love him so much but all I ever cause for him is trouble. He's always here for me but I'm barely ever there for him even if I want to. I suck so badly... I miss him so much... I want to talk to him. I want to see him. I want to hug him.

I hate his aunt.
That is all I have to say.

People

I hate when people say stupid shit, ESPECIALLY when it's about me and my
relationship with Sharon. I went to my cousin's house and her friend,
Samantha, who the sister of a girl who I went to middle school with,
tells me how Cindy, Rebecca, and Christina, all of whom I went to middle
school with as well, were talking about me at her house. After quite a
bit of badgering, I got her to spill. She went on to say how after the
day I hung out with them, they all started saying how I've changed, lost
weight, have nice muscles, and that I'm "hot". Then they went on to say
that they saw a picture of my love and thought Cindy was prettier and
that I should leave my Sharon and go with her. As soon as I heard that,
I instantly got a headache, that's how pissed it made me. I don't know
why it upset me so much, but I was so angry that I could feel my eyes
water. I mean, I won't lie, I did have a crush on Cindy for awhile
before, but that ended sophomore year, and yeah, she's pretty, but my
Sharon is flat out beautiful, first of all. Second, Cindy isn't even
half the girl my love is, she's just so perfect and ideal in every.
single. way. I love her to death and I just hate when people deny my
love for her and think that I should leave her side for someone else
when they don't even know how much she means to me. They don't even know
how much I love Sharon, and personally I think that it's ridiculous of
them to even say such bullshit.
And love, if you're reading this, prepare to get mad <3
Right after I took Sharon home, not even a block away from her
apartment, two guys and a girl were walking by me. I noticed that one of
the kids wouldn't take his eyes off of me, so I stared at him back, and
kept staring even as he walked right next to me. Apparently he felt
tough, and I wasn't, so he yelled, "What's good, boy?" so I stopped and
stared at him, and then he said, "stay chillin' " and walked away, so I
don't know if he'll try something when I see him or what. Don't be
scared though, love <3
--:D

This is an example of why I love her so damn much

"I'm not like them, I'm not your grandpa, my not your uncles, and im not
your friend, I'm never going to leave you and im going to be yours
forever."
^^ that made my entire day, week, month, hell, maybe even year.
I love you, Sharon, so much, you don't even understand how much I love
you, I don't even think I even do, that's how much you mean to me. x3
--:D!

Troublesome Somnolence.

Lately, I've been needing a lot of sleep. I can barely wake up at my normal time and stay awake anymore since I feel so tired all the time. On my way to school, I doze off on the train. On my way home, I try my best not to fall asleep. When I get home and sit down at my computer, I try my best not to nod off into sleep-land. Right now, I'm trying to resist falling asleep on my keyboard. I'm yawning and being sleepy right now.
I'm so tired...

Passion.

Lately, my tumblr's been buggin' out and being a pain in my ass. I can't post anything at all and I'm trying to figure out why. I just logged out of my tumblr to try to see if I could post after I relog but guess what. I can't even log back in!! I am upSET. I love my tumblr and it just had to decide to be gay on me... I hate this...
And I'm feeling a little sleepy right now...

Other than that, this video is a remix of Bedrock by many free-stylers on YouTube. They just got together and did this remix. I like this remix a whole lot. Today, when I was listening to it, I was thinking about the many things that I want to do in the future, the many places that I would want to go. I know this song is about sex and all but I still thought about spending precious time with Kevin. =]

My tumblr started working again. Yay! ♥

D:

Lately, though I have been going to bed around 1 or 2 every night/morningish, I have been waking up at about 5:45-6:00 to chat a bit with my love before she goes off to school. Call me crazy, but I actually like being up so early for her, I don't know, there's just something about talking to her that makes my mornings that much better.
But, the last two days, I've just been drained, I don't know why, I just have. Perhaps it's from all of the basketball I've been playing, all of the running around I do daily with my love, or my workout routine, but I just can't seem to keep my eyes open. Since I've been so tired, I've found myself falling asleep while talking to my love before she leaves, leaving her alone. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about falling asleep the last couple of days and that I promise that it won't happen again.
I love you <3
I can't wait to see you later. =]

Independent +1

This is a post I've been meaning to put up for awhile, but I've never
gotten around to posting it, so here goes.
Before, Sharon's ex would say how because of what's happened between me
and her, no one likes us anymore, we've lost all respect, and that we
have no friends, meaning that we weren't happy and that us being
together is a huge mistake. Well, little does he know, Sharon nor I
really give two shits about what people think about us. To be quite
honest, I could care less about what anyone thinks about me, anyone
besides my love, of course. He fails to realize that even though I had
lost many of the friends I once had, I am still the happiest I've ever
been in my whole entire life. I am a loner, I don't really need anyone
or anything, I'm actually more comfortable by myself than with others,
well not including Sharon of course. Sharon is the only person that I
really truly need in my life, she's who keeps me happy, and who keeps me
sane, everyone else is just there for entertainment. I'm fucked up for
saying that, yes? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't care. :D
I've always been the quiet kid in the corner, avoiding all of the big
crowds and commotion, that one kid who no one knows, who everyone under
estimates. I love that, especially when it comes to fighting. I can
honestly say that I'm a workout junky, a gym rat, I love working out
more than any activity. Hell, while referring to me, a couple of people
don't even say they're working out, they just say that they're on their,
"Kevin J. Walsh shit" that's how much I'm known to lift. Anyways, back
then, and at times now, people just see me as a white boy who'd be an
easy target for a quick beating, and perhaps a robbery. I love it. About
a week or two ago, two kids, around the ages for 15-17 ran up to me. One
just stood, and the other asked me for my phone, I said no, and he
shoved me, so without thinking, I punched him right in his little frail
jaw. He dropped like a fly, while his "friend" just watched perplexed. I
bet they weren't expecting me to put up a fight, nevertheless floor one
of them, begging me not to hammer fist his face into the pavement. I
just laughed and smiled at the poor beaten soul while walking away,
because his poor judgement and stereotypical mind set wound up getting
his ass kicked.
Side tracking a bit... although my beloved is going to do whatever she
can to prevent this from happening, I one day hope to become an amature
mixed martial artist. I've fought on the streets many times and have
been trained in Boxing, Muay Thai, and briefly in Brazilian Jujitsu for
years, so I think I would fair pretty well, plus, as my love says, I'm
strong as hell. Though I have all of these advantages and skills, my
love still wouldn't let me step foot in a cage, she hates the fact that
I fight and gets worried whenever I do so, so she'd find a way to stop
me, she already said she would anyways. Oh well, it doesn't mean that I
can't train though =]
But yeah, I don't need anyone, and I don't care about anyone that I've
"lost", so he could say all he wants, but I don't, and never have
regretted my choice to kiss the girl I've loved for 3 years on that
snowy day of February. I love Sharon, and she's all I'll ever need to
keep me happy. I'm not letting her go for anything in the world, she
means everything to me, and seeing her walk away would be like letting
myself leave, I mean, she's my other side, how could I live without half
of me? Like she states in an older post, I'd absolutely be honored to be
the guy she walks towards in her white wedding dress, and I'd love to
make her mine for eternity. Well... she already is, but shhh, she
doesn't know yet :3
That's about it for now. Oh wait, one last note. I just wanted to say
that I generally only write about Sharon because this was her blog
first, so I don't really want to take it away from her. My purpose on
this blog is to express my love and feelings for her, and for everyone
to see. I want everyone to know that I love this girl, and that she's by
far my most valued treasure. <3
--IloveSharon<3

Nostalgia.

Last night, I was talking to my love about how today was National Weed Day or something like that. While we were talking about that, I remembered my times with people from middle school and how they used to look and act. I compared them to how they are now and I can't help but feel a little sad that they have changed so much. I can't deny that people have to change sooner or later in life, whether it be for good or for bad. I just seemed to miss how we were back then when we wanted to grow up and be free when now, we only want to be young again in some ways. I was talking to him about how we would always fool around and run around being young and having a lot of fun. Especially in my middle school, considering how our school was ridiculously well funded, many of us would run around and be carefree all day long and nothing would really bother us except when someone lost their homework or when people were fighting over who gets to copy whose homework. Those days were really the comfortable ones. Nowadays, in our high school life, everything is filled with drama and stress. Everything involves parents, tests, essays, colleges, friends, and love. Of course, there are always those who don't even make it through their entire high school life because they either dropped out or they killed themselves. Those people may have it harder than us who stayed in school and alive, or they may just be too weak to want to go through all the trouble that high school brings. I know that even though school may be incredibly stressful, we have to bear through it and that the stress and drama would all be worth it someday.
Now that I think back to my middle school life, I had some of the best moments of my life. Middle school is definitely one of my most treasured and joyful moments of my educational life. I remember that play that my entire grade had to work together for in seventh grade. That time was so very hectic yet it was extremely fun. I know I got yelled at a few times by the Literacy and Social Studies teachers for not being prepared. I cried. Of course. I was the crybaby of my grade. Practically everyone knew that. The play/opera that we did took at least a month or two to prepare for so basically, our entire grade sacrificed all of our time in English and History classes to prepare for the opera so that we would be able to make the show as decent/amazing as we could. The rehearsals were full of fooling around and screaming teachers. Even though they were amusing, it was still hectic. Everyone had to find out where they had to be during standby and where everything was to be set when they were moving stuff on-stage. On the opening night, everyone was rushing and everything was absolutely chaotic. Rose and I, the two make-up artists who were assigned to stay backstage freaked out about missing make-up. I was running up and down the stairs carrying the make-up, dropping some, picking them up, dropping more, running after the ones that rolled away. Opening night was so much fun though. Everyone backstage had to be quiet while the opera took place but we would always go and wander around backstage with flashlights since it would always be pitch black there. It was always incredibly dark. There would be no light visible except the red light of the exit signs and the faint light that was able to seep into the back, through the curtains, which wasn't much at all. That was about all the light that we were able to see, when we didn't have a bunch of flashlights on. Whenever we did have the flashlights on, though, we would be roaming back and forth looking for people to chat with. Rose and I would always go to the other side of the stage to find the setup crew and just chill there.
Most of the people from the setup crew were from the Asian Gang that we formed at the school. It was basically a group of Asians who came together and maybe some other non-Asians that we dubbed to be Asian. We would all hang out with each other and just be happy. But now... it's not the same case anymore. The remainder of that group ended up excluding many of us from it. One being me because I never talk to them anymore and we are in totally different schools now. Besides, we've all made new friends and have changed drastically from how we used to be. Some of us haven't changed that much in personality but have changed a lot in appearances. Some of us changed a lot in appearances and not in personality.  There are some of us who haven't changed whatsoever. Then, most of us have changed into absolutely different people altogether. I'm one of those who haven't had much of a personality change but my appearance has changed a lot since middle school. I used to look like a guy and I hated wearing things like shorts and skirts. I would never go outside without sneakers on and I absolutely despised showing my legs. I also hated make-up. Now, I love wearing skirts and shorts, especially when it is unbearably hot outside. I love to wear heels and sandals outside but I still do love my sneakers a lot. Speaking of sneakers, I need a new pair of Jordans... Now, I grow my hair out as long as I possibly can and I prefer wearing my contacts over wearing my glasses. I still hate make-up though. It makes my face feel heavy.
Also, back then, I preferred Eastern Asians over any type of guy but not anymore. Okay, I still do prefer Eastern Asians but my boyfriend is an exception. He is a tall white/Hispanic guy who I love to death. I never knew that one day, I would end up dating a guy like him. Although he isn't Asian, he is everything I have tried to dream about and everything I was never able to dream about. That's how amazing he is to me. He is my beloved and I never want to let him go for anything.
Nowadays, people change according to their surroundings because the age of people who are most easily influenced nowadays are those who are in the age range of 15-18 years old. I don't know why but that's just something that I noticed. Many of the friends that I've had during middle school have started smoking weed/cigarettes and doing drugs. Before this, they were always fun-loving people to me and they seemed to all have been very carefree. I learned that even though someone may appear to be something and act like a certain thing, they may not necessarily be that. I learned the same thing about myself because I also tend to hide the fact that I have something troubling me to myself. All I ever try to show people is the happy and chipper side of me. The side that acts like a little kid. I never show what I look like when I'm in trouble and I need help because ever since I was a kid, I wasn't really able to tell anyone anything. I learned to rely on myself and myself only, involving none others and dealing with it all on my own. Now, I still try to rely on myself but Kevin ends to get me to tell him stuff. He tells me that he wants to bear my burden with me. I don't really mind at all but I think he already has enough of his own stuff to have to deal with already. I love him and I want to share everything with him, including his burdens. If he wants to know and share mine, he has to let me know about his and let me help. He knows this. =] ♥

No matter what.

Today I've realized that no matter what happens, as long as I see my love, the day will be a great day.
It was seriously some movie type shit. my aunt barges in the room and sees Sharon laying on the bed and me changing my pants. Doesn't she have such perfect timing? Because once before, I had brought Sharon home without permission and without anyone home, they had decided that I wasn't allowed to bring her to my house without supervision ever again. Sucks.
Anyways, I had had enough of waiting to give my love her medicine, so I took her upstairs though my aunt wasn't home, and gave her some tylenol before having her take a nap on my bed. I felt uncomfortable in the pants I had on, so i took them off and went to get a new pair, right when my aunt suddenly bursted in, shocking the shit out of me, and startling my poor love.
After a brief intermission, she begain yelling at my love and I. I was just staring at her, trying not to laugh my ass off, when I look back at Sharon and see tears roll down her soft little cheeks, fuck. let it be known that I HATE watching Sharon cry.
She yelled and yelled and yelled for 40 minutes or so, all the while i hug my weeping love, before she left. Once she left, my love and I just cuddled for legit 10minutes straight, it was really sad, but I'll admit the cuddle felt so good <3
for about a half an hour, Sharon and I sat together, squeezing each other tight as I told her how much I loved her, how much she means to me, and apologizing. I couldn't help it, I felt awful.
Though the whole lecture sucked ass, I was still happy afterward, because I had gotten Sharon to smile after everything. I got to see her eyes dry and a smile appear on her face, there isn't anything, A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G than making my love laugh after she's been upset, it's the best feeling in the world.
The rest of the day we spent together, walking arounnd, stalling from taking her home, chatting the whole way, not losing a beat.
I still had a lot of fun, and honestly, I feel like this only brought me and her closer, after everything, and how great the making up was, I felt that I had loved her even more than I did before, but then again, I always love her more than I did before day by day, so I guess it's nothing unusual.
I know that the relationship between my love and my family will get better, and even if it doesn't, I don't care, I'm keeping her forever, if they don't like it, too bad. <3
I love my girl, my sweet princess, and I'm never letting her go.

Wedding Dress.

Today seems to have been full of troubles and hardships. Full of lectures and nausea and tears. But ultimately, we were able to get through all of it and still stay as close as we were in the beginning. I was fast asleep on Kevin's bed and apparently, his aunt came home while he was changing. We weren't supposed to be there at the moment because his aunt wasn't home. We got lectured at and everything. Like many people know, I get really sensitive when someone yells/lectures/screams/shows hostility towards me verbally. Every time something like this happens, there's only 1 out of 100 times that I wouldn't cry. So of course, this time, I cried. I cried my eyes out and nearly passed out from crying. Everything around me was spinning and I was dizzy and I couldn't focus. There were only three other times that happened and when I got that dizzy, I went and hid in my closet or under my bed so that I wouldn't pass out. The darkness normally helped me. Whenever I cried, I would hide in a dark place and try to calm myself down. I never got why since I'm so very afraid of the dark, but the dark also calms me down. But this time, I couldn't hide or anything so I just tucked my legs to my chest and buried my face between my knees. I cried so hard that I started shaking and it got hard to breathe but I calmed down soon after it was all over. Kevin asked me if I was mad at him. Of course I wasn't. He asked me if I wanted to break up with him and that he would understand. I started crying that instant and held him close to me. I didn't want to let go of him and he asked me the stupidest question on Earth. Even now, when I think of him asking me something like that, it brings tears to my eyes and I start sniffling. I'm trying to blink the tears away because my parents are sitting right here. I just never want him to ask me something like that again. It pains me that he would be willing to let me go if I said one stupid word. There is no way in hell or heaven that I would want to let him go. I expect something like this to come up again considering the fact that his aunt is going to try to get his mother and father to speak with the both of us. But even though something like this is probably going to happen again, I don't mind. I know that afterwards, Kevin and I would be able to make each other happy and we would cheer each other up quickly. Just like today. We would be able to get past all the hard and depressing battles that lie ahead of us. He asked me earlier if I loved him less after the lecture and i nodded. He jumped and his eyes widened and asked again. I smiled and shook my head. Since I suck at cheering people up, that was the only way. He told me that I scared him when I said yes but he was happy that I was joking around with him about that. Of course I wouldn't say yes to that. I love him too much for me to want to love him any less. He's too precious and I don't want to lose him. Not to anyone or anything. I want him here. By my side. I want him to be the one I walk towards on the day I walk down an isle wearing a white wedding dress. I want him to be the one to mess and play with my kids. I want him to be the one to watch them grow up. Most of all, I want to be the one to grow old with him. I love him so damned much. Nobody can take him away from me even if they take him away physically.
But I have to get him to earn his trust back from his parents and his aunt. I don't need another me floating around.
After the lecture, I helped Kevin clean his room since his room was one reason his family was upset. I was able to fix up his room and make it look slightly decent. I made him promise that he would keep it like that. I also made him promise that he would dump his trash and make sure that after he was done eating, he would make sure everything ended back in the kitchen. After all that is done, hopefully there would be a slight improvement in his relationship with his parents and his aunt. I really do hope so.
That's about it for this post.

E-mail.

I was recently e-mailed by my ex. Here is what he says and what my response was.


Him:
what are you fucking doing cutting class and even school? what are you waiting for? getting a phone call with your parents knowing about what you been doing and then you're gonna go bitch at them? im talking to you as a friend not your fucking parent. would have been like this even if we werent dating. btw what the hell happened to you the smart sharon i knew months and a year ago?


Me:
Bitch, what the fuck. I was half dead for half a fucking week. What the fuck are you talking about? If you love accusing stuff so much, why don't you go and accuse all the other people in the world for being alive? Why don't you accuse all the other people your color for being alive so that you can go and feel special? If you don't know shit about me, stop pretending to. I know myself better than you know me. I know how I can act, how I do act and how I don't act. And you stupid-ass idiot. You shouldn't be talking shit about the "smart" me. I got a higher grade on my PSATs than you did. I'll probably get a higher grade on the actual SATs than you. Also, what the fuck did you mean by "would have been like this even if we werent dating?" That didn't even make any fucking sense!! By the way, you're an asshole, did you know that? Every single time I see or talk to you, it's some shit about the old me and bullshit about what's happening and what I'm doing wrong. It makes me want to take a broom and shove it all up in your ass. In case you haven't noticed, since you're so damned dense and so fucking hard-headed, it's fucking annoying. Tell me, do you have any evidence at all saying that I was cutting and skipping? ANY? At ALL? Please tell me you do because if you don't have some solid evidence, please don't expect me to believe anything you could possibly say.

Marriage.

People get married because they want to be with each other forever. Well, why can't you be together with each other and not get married? I really don't get it. Marriage is simply a vow to love each other forever. If I love someone and plan to do so for the rest of my life, I may as well say that I'm married to Kevin right now. I think that a marriage certificate and a marriage ceremony is all extra stuff that is used to make lovers spend money and to dedicate themselves, not only to their marriage, but to the government. A certificate saying that one is married makes me think that people are pressured into loving each other, not truly loving each other to love each other.
That's all. I just wanted to say that.

Second Month.

Today marks the second month that we have been together and I think that being with him is amazing. He makes all my pain and stress go away whenever he makes me smile and every time he hugs me. He makes all the shit from my mom that I have to put up with, worth it. He makes life worth living. He makes me happy and hyper for no reason at all. Just for being there. He makes everything so worth it. He truly does treasure me and love me for who I am and no matter what I do, he supports me. When I do something wrong, he disregards it and comforts me. He always helps me through my troubles and gives me advice and compliments whenever I need it.
I've been planning to move my ass out of the god-forsaken apartment for a while now and I plan to do it for my 18th birthday. I told Kevin that I would have to start looking for a place to live since I need to move out. He welcomed me to his place when I said that I would just crash there once in a while. Of course, I didn't want to be a free-loader so I decided to be the one to cook, clean and do the shopping. He said that he would love it and that his mother would love it too. That made me so happy~!!
I didn't want to spazz about the shit my mom is making me go through right now so yeah.
I love you, Kevin.
You are my life, love and soul.
Happy Anniversary. ♥

Handle with care

Last week, when my love told me she felt she was slightly drifting away,
she told me that the only reason she started caring less was because I
wasn't showing that I care, I wasn't being as open with my emotions as
she wanted me to be. Trust me, it's not that, im just very secretive
with my emotions, that's how I've always been, I've just never been
comfortable with opening up. I don't know if it's because im a guy or
what, but I just keep my feelings within me.
But the truth is, I do care... a lot. I care about her and our
relationship more than anything in this universe. I care about it more
than myself, my work, my family, everything. Sharon means everything to
me and I don't want her to think otherwise and for her to think that I
don't care when in reality, what we have is my life... <3
--Kevin Walsh

Almost

It's only two days away from the two month anniversary of the day that I
was able to finally muster enough courage to ask the girl of my dreams
out on our ride home on the 6 train after a wonderful day at Hunter
College. I kind of knew she'd say yes because well... after our snow day
kiss, we had became friends with benefits... a lot of benefits, but I
still was scared anyways, and if you've seen Sharon's pretty face, you'd
know why. She's just that God damned beautiful.
Before I go, I just wanted to say that if there are some of you who read
my post and think, "what the hell is this retard saying he loves this
girl so much meanwhile they've only been dating two months, that's
ridiculous." then I would like to personally tell you to, first off,
shut the hell up, and second, I've had the biggest crush on this lovely
girl for 2-3 years, and I've always found myself liking her more and
more, though we weren't even together. I wanted her so badly for such a
long time, that it just made falling so deeply in love for her that much
more easy. Not only that, but she's the most caring, sweet, funny, down
to earth, and beautiful girl that I've ever had the pleasure of calling
my beloved.
I love this girl with every ounce of me, and nothing or no one could
ever change that. Not even her obsessive ex who can't handle the fact
that she loves me. (You know who you are)
<3
--Kevin Walsh

I don't like when clouds come upon my sunshine

Right now I'm on the bus with my love after waiting in my lobby for
about 3 hours of so waiting for my aunt to leave to work, which she
never did. We sat there, walked around, listened to music, and looked at
pictures the whole time, and she got bored, but I didn't really mind it,
cause I'm just happy as long as I'm with her.
When I came down stairs after picking up some money to get her piggy
self something to eat, I came back to see her eyes wet as she wiped
them. That didn't make me too happy. I asked if she was crying and she
said she was just tired, so I left it.
Once we got to the bus stop, her eyes got more wet and she started
sniffling, and then I pressed her about it. I don't know, but whenever
Sharon cries, I want to cry, I hate seeing tears roll down her cheek so
much, it drives me absolutely insane. I kept asking her questions but
she'd always say "I don't know" or shrug her shoulders. I love her, but
I know something's on her mind, she even admitted to being kind of
disappointed about something... I just hope she'll tell me so I could
try to make it better.
I hate when you cry love, I'm happy that you're feeling a bit better,
but please, when you're ready, tell me what's on your mind.
I love you, for now and forever, I just hate seeing you upset.
--Kevin Walsh

Memorical Note.

I remember this one not we made as a conversation when we were cuddling
together in the library. We were writing it on my sidekick notes
application. Here it is. Hopefully, it comes out properly.

I love you. <3
I love you too hun, I want you to be my happy ending <3
I'd be glad to. =] <3
Stop stalling and kiss me now cause I know you wanna, love :3
Hehee. =3
I'm getting deja vu again. O.o
How?
I remember dreaming about something like this. Weird.
Hm, same actually... I think I told you but I've dreamt about you before
too hun... except we were lying down under a starlit sky in central park
during the summer, just me and you, together... like it's supposed to
be. <3
Well, I wouldn't really mind. =]
I wanna do that with you. It would be fun and I wouldn't have to go
home. <3
I like hearing those 6 words <3
Hmmm...
x]
I really think that I may be in or falling in love with you... <3
(Your phone's a bitch)
Same here... <3
(I know. Lemme smash it.)
I think I'm understanding why you joined that group now... x3
(No you nigger, how am I gonna be able to talk to you before I go to
sleep then? You know how much I love falling asleep with you being the
last one to say something to me. <3)
Hehe <3 my shoulder cracks so easily... and yes, I joined that group
because of that.
(I'm gonna make my dad get me a new phone or something. This piece of
ancient ass is pissing me off.)
Do I really have to let you go to stats? I really don't want to let you
go... btw turn around real quick, love <3
(Nice ;D then whatcha gonna do with this phone? XD)
YES
(Fly it across the galaxy.)
--mhshsho

Train of Thought.

A little while ago, my sweet love told me that he was crying due to what I told him about my emotionlessness. I got so sad and cried when I read his blog post. He kept beating himself up over causing me to become a little distant from him. I don't want him to do that. When I told him it was okay and that he just had to tell me how he was feeling and what he waas thinking, I really meant it. That's basically all I want. I know that shit goes down all the time at his place and mine but I can deal with it. Him, he would always wind up becoming upset or violent so I want to be there to help him and soothe him as much as I possibly can. I want to be of use to him once in a while. I know he is trying to spoil me and treat me right but I really want to help him once in a while. I want to give him something in return somehow. Something other than materialistic replacements for my affection towards him. I really do love him so much, I would do anything for him. I don't want him to be beating himself up at all. I don't want him to do it for any reason at all. He means everything to me. He's my life.
I've always wanted him to be my everything. I already knew that he would treat me well, that he would definitely treat me like a princess. I was ecstatic when he asked me out, the first time he kissed me, and the first time I got to hold his hand. I really did love him to the utmost extent and I still do. I knew he would be the one for me. I knew it for two whole years and my dream had finally come true. It wasn't like a dream come tre. It was a dream come true. The dream that I had so many times, the dream that I would imagine in class while listening to the teacher, the dream I would think of while staring up at the cieling and biting my pencil top while taking a chemistry test. He was already the love of my life. My everything. But he didn't belong to me. That was all I could think of. The fact that he wasn't mine. But it doesn't really matter anymore. He's currently mine and he will continue to be in the future.
I love you, Kevin. I really, really do. I love you...
--mhshsho

...

I swear I haven't cried this much since my Grandmother died 3 years ago. Yeah, I'm fucking crying, think I'm a bitch? Well if you do you're a fucktard and if you don't like it, deal with it or say something to me and I'll gladly fuck you up for talking shit.
Sharon told me that I haven't been emotional and that if I don't show how I feel, that she'll stop caring, and it's something she didn't want. (It's definitely the last thing I'd ever want...)Just the thought of her stopping caring made me want to cry my eyes out. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic, so what?
She then went on to say how she's already been caring less, how she hasn't been staring at me as much and how she has an urge to stop smiling at times, but doesn't. Once I heard this, I pretty much died inside. After she said that... I began to notice that she really hasn't been staring as much, or being as emotional, and it really hurt because for once, I got the feeling that maybe I could lose her, the love my life, girl of my dreams...
Though she said all I have to do is open up more and say what's on my mind... I couldn't shake the fact that I pushed her away. She said we're never going to split, no matter what, but still... if I'm not making her happy, I don't want to force her to be with me. I love her to death and I'd rather her be with someone else if I can't make her as happy as she deserves to be.
She also told me how she knows I'm going to get her to be more emotional again, that she know's I'll get her to stare and smile like before... but I don't know. I still feel like a sack of shit for even making her feel this way in the first place. I can't even really write... she says she knows everything is gonna be alright, but I'm still too upset to think about anything other than how I've failed her. I want to be her best boyfriend she's ever had, to be she loved the most, to make her the happiest, and I feel like I'm doing a shitty job...
I love you Sharon, I'm sorry...

Sleep.

Right now, my love is fast alseep in her bed, waiting for her first day back at our crappy school. I miss her so much, I wish that school could start a bit later for her, that way I wouldn't have to let her go so early.
I didn't really get to see her today because her asshole mom wouldn't let her out, but once they left, I snuck into her house and chilled with her for a bit... her, what the don't know won't hurt them... or us ;D
It was fun, I always enjoy being with my love. I sat and chatted with her and her brother while they playing a game of Mario Party... it was very interesting to say the least. xD
The funniest part of the day was before leaving, Sharon gave me a good bye kiss and wellllll it lasted pretty long, something that her brother didn't like at all. Literally the whole time we stood there making out, he was complaining for us to leave out of his sight so he wouldnt have to see. I love pissing him off, his reactions to our kisses are hilarious.
Back to the parents. Her mom and dad really piss me off, they really get under my skin. If you've read Sharon's earlier posts, the ones I didn't toss,I mean, you could see how badly they treat my poor love. She doesn't deserve the shit she's put through, a girl as loving, caring, and amazing as her shouldn't be treated like that. I seriously can't wait until the day I get to take her away from it all, the day I take her away from that hell hole and treat her like the princess she is, pay back for all of those years that she'd been mistreated. I swear to God I'm gonna spoil her so much.
But yeah, I just can't wait to see my love tomorrow/today, Whenever we're not together, it feels so... empty. I love her so much and I hope she knows that she means everything to me. But that's it for tonight, I love you Sharon, and I know you'll kill me when you look at the time this is being posted, but hopefully you'll forgive me and not beat me up :3
<3

Cheerful Mornings and Freaky Afternoons.

Well, my boyfriend is currently at his father's place. With his
stepmother, sister, and brother. I have something against his stepmother
and brother but other than that, ♥. I was going to write this post in
the morning but I was half asleep until around 10 or 11 even though I
woke up at 7:30.
This morning, I woke up to a sweet text from my boyfriend. It made me
happy so early in the morning, too. We chatted through texts and talked
about stuff. In between every other text, I would doze off and then wake
up around ten minutes after his text and the respond back after reading
it. Maybe he did the same thing too, maybe not but his texts made me all
cheerful this morning. ♥ He also told me that I would get a lot of
chocolate tomorrow since there was a lot at his place. I look forward to
the abundance of chocolates... ;] He told me that since I was craving
junk food the night before yet had none and was unable to attain any, I
deserved the chocolate. He is so damned sweet. =]
Later on in the afternoon, he was quite freaked out about something,
which freaked me out too. Apparently, my boyfriend's brother wanted to
marry my boyfriend. MY boyfriend. Piss off, kid. He's mine. MINE.
Grrrr... Anyways, his brother said that and I literally went o.o. I told
my boyfriend to ask his brother if he liked getting it in the ass but he
said that he didn't want to know his brother's response and didn't ask.
But back to the point. My boyfriend. Mine. M. I. N. E. Mine. I get the
feeling that kid is gay...
Anyways, that's about it for the night.
Good night.
Kevin, I love you. ♥
--mhshsho

Sharon Ho, you drive me insane <3

I know, I'm full of memories, but hey, what can I say? I'm a thinker
and that's what I do, remember things, especially things that regard
Sharon, because every moment with her is simply perfect.
A couple of weeks ago, my love and I were chatting about how we were
before we became an item.
It's funny because both of us would always be extremely close, like
REALLY damn close. We'd always be pretty much all over each other, no
matter if we were single or taken, whenever together, we'd always be
making physical contact somehow, mainly by hugging... lots of long
hugs :3
I loved our hugs and always dreamed of the day I'd get more than just
that hug. We'd always either stare into each other's eyes the entire
time, or she'd have her pretty little head rested against my chest.
Either way, she really made me want to kiss her.
After awhile, I brought up an old AIM conversation we had last winter,
where we were talking about our ideal partner. I don't know about her,
but I had noticed that most of the traits we were looking for were
found in the other person... I don't know if I was supposed to be
getting some sort of hints, but I know I was sure giving her hints ;]
at one point, she said to me, "yeah, don't worry, your height is
definitely the ideal height for the boyfriend I've always wanted" at
that point, I really wanted to say, "well you know what? Sharon,
everything about you is ideal for me, you're my ideal girlfriend" but
I was wayyy too shy, plus, I didn't think a beautiful, ideal girl like
her would like a plain jock like me anyways... <3
But though a bit late, I told her what I actually wanted to say, and
she replied, "Omfg I would have been single right that second." <----
WTF -.-"
The instant she told me that, I wanted to go NUTS!
Do you know how I felt? Knowing that I could have stolen the girl of
my dreams much sooner than I did? Man... I was
shocked/happy/confused/and aggrivated all at the same time.
I'm just happy to have her now though, I love my Sharon to death and
now that she's finally mine, I'm never letting her go. <3
If you're reading this...
I love you, hun <3

Daydreams

While on the bus back from a doctor's appointment, doe some odd reason I began to think of something that I'd never thought of before. For some reason, I started thinking, "what I think if I didn't know Sharon and saw her somewhere, what would I think?" After a minute or so of thinking, picturing her cute cheeks, her perfectly shaped chin, her soft, just-the-right size lips, long, silky hair, and most of all, her eyes, and the way they sparkle in the sunlight I knew that I'd be simply overwhelmed. I don't think that I'd be able to stop staring at that gorgeous little Chinese girl, the porcelain doll sitting around the corner. My love is just so beautiful... whenever I look at her, my heart just melts. :3
Now, Sharon has this silly belief that I only think she's so beautiful because she's my girlfriend... silly girl, haven't you realized that I've always been infatuated with you for the last... oh, three and a half years? Here's a little not-so-secret secret, ever since the say I saw her sitting on the hardwood floors of our sixth period gym class, that girl stole my heart. Yes, she had huge glasses, yes, she had braces, yes, her dad cut her hair MAD short, but I still found her breathtakingly beautiful, everything her was just so... ideal to me, it's always been that way. So let me ask you... am I biased? <3
I love my Sharon, for everything she is, and everything she isn't. She's my ideal girl, my sunshine, my precious love, and I'm never letting her go.
(By the way... I know I tend to think a lot, but hey, it's one of the things that my indescribable love for Sharon does to me)

Amazing.

I was and is still missing my boyfriend. I had such a good day with him
today except for maybe two or three moments. We had little
quarrels/talks about stuff but we made up for them soon after. Those
little quarrels only lasted about a few minutes or so anyways. The rest
of the day was amazing. It was absolutely beautiful outside today.
Gorgeous. The sky was clear with little white clouds and the sun was
out. It was also extremely warm but not too warm so it was comfortable.
A nice day with my boyfriend outside in Central Park is the best thing.
It's so peaceful and everything. ♥
I don't remember what I was going to put here but alright.
My boyfriend just told me that a friend (girl) wanted to hang out with
him tomorrow and they would be alone. I'm not too fond of stuff like
that so I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Good night.
--mhshsho